Crazy week and crazy weekend. I focus my mind on work, try my best to see the direction in a kinda sensitive environment. Many friends envy me that I have found a good job which not involves quotas or ROI (return of investment). My job is supposed to be scientific, promoting the latest world-class techniques and skills of surgical procedures in order to elevating the healthcare quality to a higher level in Asia countries. I believe what I am doing is a right thing, and it inspires me everyday.
But there are too many grey zone in healthcare industry, we have to do the business under a professional and legal practice. That's why we try to avoid relating our sales numbers to the clinical education programs. It's like walking at the place full of landmines. The stressing points are first, it's hard to find the balance of educations and markets, and the second is detecting those landmines. I need more information and records to free me to do the right decision.
Almost 10 hours working everyday, it easily worn me out in the weekend. I couldn't enjoy anything after a long company dinner on friday. Yeah, welcome to the real world! My time is fully arranged with different appointments, meetings and dates. I am surrounded by my colleagues, my friends, and strangers. But I still feel there is something missing. I have been looking for it since a long time to complete me, to make everything meaningful.
I guess I went to a wrong place, saw the wrong person and had the false feeling. Is that true people nowadays are too tired to have space for complications, a simple cuddling or tickling suits us just fine? Is that too much I expect the person wanted to know me from inside, understood me and shared his world with me? (It sounded quite a lot though). It's sad, because it seems I am the only one who want more, no matter how I tired to deny it.
I don't have any fixed standard to say this is good or that is bad. I do things which make me happy and comfortable. But sometime I am fooled by myself or by the illusions. I took the risk of hurting myself. I thought I have been over it. I thought I could be free from what myself would really think. Every time I walked out of that door, I never felt better but even lonelier and more confused...
But there are too many grey zone in healthcare industry, we have to do the business under a professional and legal practice. That's why we try to avoid relating our sales numbers to the clinical education programs. It's like walking at the place full of landmines. The stressing points are first, it's hard to find the balance of educations and markets, and the second is detecting those landmines. I need more information and records to free me to do the right decision.Almost 10 hours working everyday, it easily worn me out in the weekend. I couldn't enjoy anything after a long company dinner on friday. Yeah, welcome to the real world! My time is fully arranged with different appointments, meetings and dates. I am surrounded by my colleagues, my friends, and strangers. But I still feel there is something missing. I have been looking for it since a long time to complete me, to make everything meaningful.
I guess I went to a wrong place, saw the wrong person and had the false feeling. Is that true people nowadays are too tired to have space for complications, a simple cuddling or tickling suits us just fine? Is that too much I expect the person wanted to know me from inside, understood me and shared his world with me? (It sounded quite a lot though). It's sad, because it seems I am the only one who want more, no matter how I tired to deny it.
I don't have any fixed standard to say this is good or that is bad. I do things which make me happy and comfortable. But sometime I am fooled by myself or by the illusions. I took the risk of hurting myself. I thought I have been over it. I thought I could be free from what myself would really think. Every time I walked out of that door, I never felt better but even lonelier and more confused...
No comments:
Post a Comment