Motivation

Everything is possible in this world nowadays. What makes the difference is the motivation. For someone who knows the reason why he is doing this or someone who doesn't know, the results would be totally different.

I am not kinda people who want to be the top in the company. I would never have financial problem. I kinda have everything I would probably need. I thought work was just an activity to spend sometime and get social contacts. Maybe sometime you get some satisfaction from a challenge, it would make you feel good. That was all work about to me before. So I stayed a place I felt comfortable, avoid to make mistake. That's it.

Even for now, I still don't think I would give more of my own time to work to get to the top or whatever. It wouldn't never be my priority. Then, what is the motivation for me to work hard? My parents are afraid that I would still not be committed enough to the job. I also thought about this question. As I promised the boss, YES, I am gonna do my best, boss!, did I really mean it?

After few days thinking, it seems I got a breakthrough. My ultimate life objective is To Be Free. It means I would always have choices, free to choose the things I am willing to do, choose the way of life I believe.

To achieve that, the very first step is to be independent. Job can help me with that. I get my own salary and my own saving, I would have the right to spend it on whatever I want. I wouldn't need to convince my parents the money would spend on good use any more, and I wouldn't need to bear the kinda crap such as oh, you should be careful with money, we have to save some to change your car, for your wedding, for your kids, blah blah. I think my parents would be happy to see that I can make my own life.

I don't understand how come those girls think to hook up with some rich men would bring them happiness. Well, I am not judging anyone here or demonstrate myself. There is nothing wrong having a hope of a nice easy life. If your boyfriend happened to be rich AND NICE, then you are a lucky girl. If the guy was your boyfriend because he was rich....hum...that's really bad.

Anyway, thinking about others money is bad. First, money can't buy happiness. After you had everything, then your needs would upgrade as well, and money would get nothing to do with that. Second, for example, if you want to go to UK <---that's me, I mean I want to go to UK :-) , and he wanted to go to Thailand...then how? If I were that guy, I would probably not to say but think, WTF, I am the one pay for everything why I couldn't even go to the place I want to go? If the guy finally went to UK with that girl, he sucks, haha. If they went to Thailand, the girl sucks! Anyhow, it sucks! Look, independence is very important. Maybe now some girls haven't reach that point to understand, because Thailand and UK make not difference for them. hehe...sorry, I have been mean.

Ok, let's go back to 'working is for my ultimate freedom'. One of my friends argued, if you work, then you are not able to be totally free. Sometime you have to do something you don't want to do. You have to listen the same bullshit you don't want to listen. True, we never live in a black-and-white world. Somehow you have to make the compromise somewhere. But it still not against the theory of work-for-freedom. I work hard, learn from it, improve myself. Till the time if everything piss me off, till I couldn't take it anymore, I could say f*ck off and quit. I don't need to suffer because I don't have any other choices. So, I shouldn't worry about how committed I would be this time. I know how to make it work.

I can feel 2009 is a very good year for me. I am so excited about the new year to arrive. I don't know where the spirit come from, but I feel it! God Bless me! and all of us!

List of 2009

2009 is only 6 days away from now. In the new year, I promise I will do my very best to be good. To be a good daughter to my parents, to be a good friend to my friends, to be a good employee to the company, to be a good person to the society. I will take the best care of myself. I will work hard and also PLAY HARD, live hard. I will try to enjoy every single minute, cherish everything I have had.

I am getting so excited about this new year. Get graduated of my MBA is a big achievement in 2008, then start in January, new job, new life and new goals!I have whole a lot of plans in 2009. Quite exciting, isn’t it?

List of 2009

A new Macbook. It’s way too sweet!

A set of hiking equipment & go hiking to a place has no one but me. I am not sure whether I could be able to do and not to cry of the loneliness. Still, I want to feel that at least once of my life. But have to pick a right place, and do lots of “homework” before it. Would be nice to go with a dog!

Visiting London. Tonight I just turned down a UK company who seriously want me to join them, offered me the trip to London for meeting and stuff. Hehe… So, Chris ßthe Boss, you should really treat me well for the sake of I give up so much for Tyco! I don’t know why London, maybe because of the British men? Yeah, their bloody British accent. Besides those, it should be a very beautiful city with long histories. The Buckingham Palace, the horse guards parade, and the foot guard marching… Museums, the Art galleries, the Tower of London and London Eye… and the red photo booth, the double-decker bus! Now I feel I was stupid to turned the company down so early!

A BOYFRIEND! That’s the most important, isn’t it? I wish he would like to be the biggest part of my life. He has a warm and kind heart. He would never leave me without a trace. He could touch my soul and understand me. He knows what he wants and decisive. he deserves my trust and is able to lead me out of confusions. He is not afraid to admit his mistake. He is honest and always tells me the reason why if I ask. He likes to go out and get crazy sometimes and sometime we can be really lazy just lay on the couch reading books or watch movies or just cuddling all day... Where the Hell are you hiding now? Ok, you still have few days to pop!

Fingers crossed...AGAIN? This time gotta be something better, alright?

Joyeux Noël !

Time flies. It's Christmas again. Everything of last Christmas is still so clear in my mind. It surprised me how I miss the place I lived, the people who cared about me, and the time of my life there. Somehow, so many regrets left over... It doesn't matter that the memory was good or bad, happy or sad, I appreciate it. It is and it will always be a part of my life.

Christmas recalls my memories. Furthermore, it is the time to wish the best to my cared ones and myself. I have made a list of 2009 for myself. It contains all my wishes of 2009, the things I want to do and the goal I want to acheive, and the things I want to get in the new year. To all my dear friends, I wish you a Merry Christmas and all the happiness and prosperity in the year ahead! And, I wish all of our dreams come true in this new year.

PEACE!

Tough Choices

The first time I was about to make the choices which I considered tough was in France. I felt so helpless. That was the first time I felt I was on my own. My family and friends were not only far away from me but also not capable to help. What I wanted was only their suggestions or ideas. They didn't even know what's going on out there on the other side of the world, how could they possibly figure out what I was supposed to do. That was the most complicated time I experienced in my life till now. Then I realized how lucky I was when I was in China with my family and friends...

However, different problems would appear right at our face as long as we go on living. Now I am at my home in Shanghai, I got to choose where I am gonna work between two companies, US vs. UK, big vs. small, settled vs. adventurous, specialized vs. broader responsibility... This time I feel again I am standing at the crossing road, puzzling of which way would lead me to the finest end. But I do know, no matter how, I am the one and would be the only one who should take the damn responsibility choose and deal with it.

Dilemma one: I wonder if I would ever know which one is the best. Probably not... So why should I be anxious? Go with the heart say.

Dilemma two: I might not know what would be the best in the end, but would I regret when things didn't go well as what it was supposed to be? Of coz! Then how? I would probably never know which one would the worst either.

I understand one thing at least. I would never be frustrated making tough choices but grateful. Thank God, I still have the choices! The ultimate freedom, yes? It's tough making choices, yet, isn't it the beauty of life? All the unknown, the aspiration of learning... The core of man's spirit comes from new experiences. <---Best quote ever!

I am convinced it's the meaning of life. Just free your mind, figure out what you really want to do and go for it. Why suffer yourself? I'd rather die if I simply sit here every single day wondering what if I did wrong or what would be right. Well, sometime I do make terrible decisions, such as going to France. But it didn't kill me because you never know when the experiences would do you good. I wouldn't be afraid of experiencing more... everything possible. But I guess lots of people around us are holding off and finally would lose the chance of having the desirable dream life ahead.

It's tough to make a choice. But you gotta move! Move forward! Chop-chop! Believe that whatever you decided to do, there is always 50% chance to be right!

WHY

Big question mark. Why? Does anything have an answer? No matter there is an answer or not, people like asking why for sure. It's porbably the propulsion of the evolution of human civiliation.

Some people asked me Why do you write these things and share it with all those strangers? I suppose that happiness only real when shared. Sadness, jealousy, rage and all kinds of strong emotions are likewise. But is there really a WHY behide all these? I don't even know.

Into the Wild

Into the Wild is a very inspiring movie. There are so many classic lines are totally blown minds. I couldn’t stop thinking that, are we the natural spirits which have been trapped in the civilizations, society, certain human relations or any other kind of rules of life? What’s the purpose of life? I wonder how many people actually thought about this question, and how many wild dreams and soul have been covered under the day-to-day routine.

I couldn’t agree more that the core of man’s spirit comes from new experiences. People lock themselves in an empty place with money and work their ass off to get the so called “success”. Do they really have time to face themselves or to figure out what is the meaning of all this? If that’s all what you want, fine! Good job! But if it’s not, why should you go on this path only because it’s the normal way of life? Is there a normal way of life indeed? I want to see more of the world. Different people, different places… live in different kind of life with my partner, to share all the touching moments, beautiful scenes of nature and many of others which we might not able to imagine right now. That sounds like a rich life to me. As long as you have a brave heart, no matter how much money you have, you will get there.

I appeal the society stop pushing people to only one direction. Wealth is not the only thing in our life. We should care more about the inside, the moral soul, to free ourselves out of the false norm to the higher spiritual level, to find the comfort of your own, to do what your heart feel like doing. I believe there are always choices, the only thing matters is what you want. All kinds of possibilities are out there. If you want something in life, reach out the grab it.

Let’s go to somewhere left no one else but ourselves, to facing our true self, to feel strong, to clear our minds. Let’s jump out of the concrete and go into the wild.